The 15-Minute Relationship Fix by Joel Block

Author:Joel Block
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-1-63393-601-0
Publisher: Koehler Books
Published: 2015-11-25T16:00:00+00:00

GETTING IT!

June and Frank finally got that the heart of a love relationship is about having the courage and the ability to create an emotional culture of safety so that you can be fully known. We all want to be understood and accepted by someone central to our life. The Emotional Conference, done precisely as it has been presented, is the most effective way of achieving that goal I have seen in many years of clinical practice!

“Containing” the other’s feelings, as June puts it, gives each partner the opportunity to accept that he or she does not and cannot control how other people think about you. Since most of us have not fully grown out of the childhood state of needing the approval of others in order to feel good about ourselves, taking in another’s view of our behavior without seeking to correct it is a valuable experience. The result is the building of emotional muscle that will pay off in other areas of life. We are strengthening our sense of I.

Having a stable sense of I is based primarily on self-validation rather than other validation. It allows love partners to navigate the delicate balance between separateness and connectedness. In effect, if each partner has a solid sense of I, it is easier to form the we in a relationship.

At the simplest level, having a solid sense of I means that we can be who we are in a relationship rather than what others wish, need, and expect us to be. It also means that we can allow others to do the same.

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